havent wriiten in awhile....changes

i havent written a blog in awhile so i just got off of work from 3rd and i still cant sleep after being up all night.
So here goes........ i have finally taken the last step i needed to let go of the thing that has been causing me so much hurt. I am not going to lie but be honest. I think letting go caused more hurt than the actual part of being there. But staying there only made me realize that i couldnt love through my hurt. So now i know that the hurt i feel now will eventually make me stronger as an individual. I see things for what they really are now. Letting go has taught me another very valuable lesson......FORGIVENESS. I have learned that not forgiving someone completely is only going to cause damage to YOU later on down the line...not the person that needs to be forgiven. I guess Madea was right when she said forgiveness is not for them but for you. I thought forgiving someone was saying i forgive you but still holding on to what the issue was at hand. You can never get pass anything if you dont just let it go...because eventually its going to be kept bottled up inside and come up in future arguments or disputes. I just hope in so many ways people can actually forgive me the way i am learning to forgive others. Holding something against someone is not healthy it only causes you worry and stress.... and stress is never good.........well i dont think.
How am i feeling? I am feeling very refreshed right now. I finally feel like my life is actually making changes. For so long I have been wanting to do a lot of things but i have always contradicted myself and my actions. Now, I am starting to take action and it feels real good. Not all of the decisions that i have made been easy and some of them I still question but as of now I just have to have faith. I am going to have faith that i will not let myslef down. I have depended on so many people in a lot of ways only finding disappointed. So now not saying that i do not have a few good friends to depend on.....but now i only put faith in myslef and God.... everybody else has to fall back for a moment.......sorry.