those that are not positive in my life.

I was talking to durl today and I was talking about all the changes I have made and the ones I am still trying to work on. I asked him what type of person am I. He said that he hasn't been around me so he can't really speak on it..... thanks for nothing durl....lol..... but no on a serious note I asked him because I know he will tell me the truth....tell me exactly what he thinks and feels. I know how I am now and I know I am not how I want to be. There were bits and pieces of me that I want to keep and go back to and there are those that I want to rid myself of. I know now I am very hot headed and very tempermental and I hate the fact that I am. I try to control my anger and I do until a certain point.....then im there and beyond. I get so frustrated because I want to know where this anger comes from. I get real frustrated at times because I hate that I allow myself but worse..others get me to that point....

Now, that is why I am reevaluating the company I keep. I am trying to rid my life of all the negative people that are apart of my life but add only stress and no happiness.

BLAST TIME!!!!

First person to go.... Storm Smith. For the past two years we have been in a very chaotic relationship. We have been through so much and we are both to blame. There came a point where I compromised everything I felt that was essential in a relationship just so he'd stay. Flat out....what the fuck was I thinking. Compromise is ok when its being met half way. When I found that I was the only one compromising thinking I was being a good woman...shit!!!! I was being a damn fool. Now I am being a strong woman and letting go. I don't want to sound like a hyprocrite and talking all this shit and then I am back with him. Don't get me wrong my intentions are to walk away and so far I am being sucessful. The only way I can go back is if everything was how I felt it should be. Being with him I became very insecure about myself because he wanted to cheat. With truth be told I think after he got me and how everyone thought I was bad it boosted his ego a little and he got the big head. But anyways I realized its not me or him its the both of us. We value relationships way too different..... but hey what can I say the next girl that comes across him will need to come shake my hand because I taught him everything he knows....so as a woman and a lover I am always gonna be better and that's what I had to realize.
Who's next.... I hate to say it but Koran. My 16 year old sister. I know that sounds bad but for real I can't trust her. She is too grown for her age and off the hook.... 4real. I tried so many times to be a big sister to her...let her wear my clothes, look out for her, and she literally dogs me behind my back...Oh, and try to have sex with my ex...I know right? So before I catch a case and be in the arrested paper....I will just stay away.
Third to go Towna ....the sister under me who is 22. I can't really put her on blast like I want to but she did some real foul shit to someone she was suppose to be loyal to. She tries to play the innocent role and I dnt dig that at all. She portrays herself to be so loyal and truthworthy and she not. Then to make matters worst she is always in this person face....well she was before she went back to cali. After that I lost all respect for her. If you knew what I knew you would def..understand.
Next in line victoria... the woman that gave me life. For so long I have tried to reach out to her. The only time she is of any type of mother is when she wants something. She is always asking for something, but when things hit the fan she always turns on me. So, im cool on her too.
Last the little people that aren't that much of a significance in my life that I tolerate but don't have to. All the niggas that try to holla they is really wasting my time and theirs. The females that don't like me just because I am me. To the individuals that cause confusion and chaos in my life I want to say your time is up . Being angry like I have been, I have allowed you to control my life. Its cool,because I am gaining control back.