Monday, February 23, 2009

I had a good man....

I am so tired and feeling so alone. I feel like I have no one in my corner. I try not to be so distant from others but now I can start yo understand why my friend from columbus is the way he is. He had a few friends that he was real close to then he cut them off because they were not positive in his life. At one point in time he did me the same. Now that I think about how I treated him I am grateful that he managed to forgive me or at least deal with me. I know I am about to put him on blast but I am sorry I have to for my own piece of mind.
Dj durl.... thank you. For those that do not understand let me fill you in. Me and dj worked together and we became very close.....I love you close. Then I met someone and basically told dj I was cool. Dj had done nothing wrong to me... actually he is what you want in a grown man one that you want a relationship with. I know I hurt him real bad but I let my own actions and feelings ignore his feelings and emotions. Now two years and couple of months later me and dj have reconciled as friends and I have gone through hell and back with the other person. I am going to be honest because when you blog that is what you are suppose to do..... I find myself missing darrell..... wishing the other guy was more like him. I am not even gonna say that's wierd because why wouldn't I want a good man. But like always we think the grass is greener on the other side until we are there and realize there is no grass but nothing but weeds. Its always a shame to have to admit that you were shallow and at one point selfish. But that is what I was. Its good to still be friends with dj because sometimes he is good for the soul. He blogs a lot and I enjoy reading them because in a lot of ways I can relate.
To dj.... when u read this I didn't mean to put you on blast but I had to put myself on blast because I really did you wrong and I regret the way that I handled that whole situation. Back then I was happy and now I am miserable. I just wanted to apologize to you in public because u damn sure deserve it.

No comments:

Post a Comment